To be a vessel that God will use, we need to empty ourselves of self. One of the requirements Jesus laid out for following Him is to deny self.

Jesus said, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it” (Luke 9:23-24).

Self can be a hindrance to following Jesus. Identifying and rejecting self will help us become the disciples God calls us to be.

Merriam-Webster online dictionary lists over 900 words that begin with self. 1 Of these, over half have a negative connotation and are not qualities that we want to exhibit. These range from self-acceptance to self-accusation, self-appraisal to self-contempt, self-confidence to self-doubt, and self-love to self-hatred.

Some of these self-words are qualities the world values, but should be minimized by Christians, such as self-reliance, self-sufficiency, self-confidence, and self-assertiveness. Christians are supposed to rely on God, not self. Our sufficiency and confidence come from God. We are to let God lift us as He desires, not try to assert ourselves.

Here are some words that show self at its worst: self-condemnation, self-critical, self-deceiving, self-opinionated, and self-absorbed. The list could go on. The worst examples I found of self that relate to a Christian are self-idolatry and self-worship.

Most of us don’t think we worship ourselves. Looking at the definition of worship might cause us to reevaluate. Worship means to treat with honor, respect, and devotion. 2 How many of us honor ourselves or get angry when we feel disrespected? Most of us are devoted to ourselves.

The following self- words expand the idea of self-idolatry: self-obsessed, self-infatuated, and self-absorbed. Even self-pity and self-loathing are focusing on oneself too much and can be a part of self-worship. Wouldn’t these describe a person who is worshiping himself or herself, thus committing self-idolatry?

Jesus calls us to deny self. We do this by ridding ourselves of self-love, self-confidence, self-righteousness, and self-admiration. When we are filled with self, we cannot be filled with God. A physical vessel that is already full cannot be filled. It must first be emptied of its present contents. The same is true spiritually. It is also necessary to empty ourselves if we want God to fill us.

We can empty ourselves by getting rid of what the Bible refers to as the fleshly nature. The flesh often thinks too much about, relies on, and thinks too highly of itself. When we focus more on Jesus, His words, and ways, we will be lessening the effects of the old nature and preparing ourselves to receive the new.

Ephesians 5:18 commands us to “be filled with the Spirit.” Learning to deny ourselves as Jesus taught readies us to be filled by Him. If we ask, God will reveal any thoughts and desires that hinder us from being filled. As we confess and reject these, we are emptying ourselves of the old nature and making room for the Spirit. As He fills us, His qualities will be displayed in us, and we will become a vessel of honor that will be used by Him.

1 https://www.merriam-webster.com/browse/dictionary/s/25-30 (1 July 2025)
2 “worship.” Merriam-Webster.com. 2025. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/worship (1 July 2025).

Which self-words surprise you the most?

Do you struggle with denying self?

Can you share some of the ways you have learned to deal with self that might help others?